[x]

let's run away.let’s get out of town. let’s steal the neighbors truck and drive it into the ocean. let’s melt along desert highways and freeze on mountain ranges. let’s fill our lungs with saltwater and wring out our hearts in sundried wind.

trust me, my bags are already packed. i need to sit in the passenger seat with my feet hanging out the window. i need to hold your hand and let the distance fade our problems like a school-yard-eraser. because in that truck cab, there can’t be anything but us. there won’t be room for our insecurities or mistakes or flaws or regrets. there will just be us.

and that’ll be enough. we

can't you hear me?xx.

you are beautiful even if you can’t see it. you are flesh pulled-tight over needles-and-thread ribs and eyes fogged over with your latest drug. you are a drunk tongue and a loose smile, butterfly fingers thrumming on your thigh because you’re too medicated for them to not be doing something. you are waterlogged from drowning in your insecurities for so long, moth-eaten from rotting in the back of the closet of your addictions.

but you are beautiful. because under the fog you are flickering like a single firefly. because you’re just trying to hide his acidic criticism under your translucent skin. and i know you can open ch

truth flavoured lies_cthe lie about me:
i am beautiful like freshly-cut grass and popsicles in the middle of the day. i am summer-lips and winter-teeth, laughing my way through autumn-leaves. i am branding laughter against the back of my throat so i can feel it with every breath i draw in, soaking in your words as i stick them under my tongue and save them for a while. i am living for the moment and dancing without caring who’s watching. i am loving recklessly and throwing my heart into the wind with wild abandon. i am calling each scar a beauty mark and opening my arms wide to catch the wind. you are calling me ‘love’ and i am answering.

the trut

sinning tongues still confess.[one] i just hope that you know that you are beautiful.
i hope when you’re looking into the mirror and are
bemoaning pale cheeks and angled eyes that you know
these are the things that make you the most breathtaking.
and when the ones you trust turn their backs, realize that
they are the ones lacking: not you. i hope you know that
you are intelligent and compassionate and all together
lovely. you are every single thing that every single person
should aspire to be.

[two] i wish you knew how i would fold at the knees like
faded denim if you weren’t there to hold me up. i wish
i had the words to tell you that you’re

it's not what you think.this is just a bruise, don’t you understand? i drank too many diet cokes too quickly, i stood up when i should have been lying down, i stared at the sun for too long. i ran too long with my lungs begging to collapse, i fell down the stairs and swallowed my kidney. i just tripped. it was just a mistake. it’s not what you think it is.

and this, this is just heart burn, don’t worry yourself over it. i swallowed too many peppers without a glass of milk to coat my throat, i let the knife slip when i was cutting up the apple. i bit my tongue when i was running to catch the bus, i stayed under the bathwater too long until i was blue-

i know i'm reckless.i know it’s not easy loving a tumbleweed of a woman.
[but you’re still hot on my trail when the rebel stars shine.]
i know your fingers sting from snagging them on wild-rose-thorns.
[but you’re still holding my hand and ignoring the trickling blood.]
i know it bruises when you get tangled in barbed-wire-smiles.
[but you’re still kissing my lips and calling me beautiful.]
i know you get tired chasing my vagabond-heart.
[but you aren’t trying to hobble my nomad-feet.]
i know you blame yourself when i crackle and explode.
[but you aren’t letting me see you cry when you piece me back together.]
and i know

can't wait forever.because, boy, you know i’m looking for you, but i’m not sure i’ll ever find you.

i’m spending my days watching the different eyes that go by but they all have the wrong angle or the wrong shape or they’re a little too gray instead of the blue that i know you’ll have. there are too many creases where they’ve frowned too many times and are a touch too red from too much alcohol when i know you’ll have at least some idea of moderation. they’re all wrong because they’re not yours.

and i’m spending my nights listening to the different laughs riding the airwaves but they’re all the wrong

this one's for you.because you are keeping my legs from folding.

because when i am tired, i am leaning on you, when i am sad, i am crawling into your comfort. because you are hooking my lips and pulling them into a smile, building a fire in the belly of my soul and warming me from the inside out.

because when i am lost, you are pointing in the right direction, when i am shaking, you’re holding my hand and whispering it will be alright.

and because when i’m incoherent you’re closing your eyes and saying my rambling sounds a little like a creek. because when i’m jumping from thought to thought without leaving a trail, you’re laughing a

gamble on me.hey boy,

i think you should know that you’re twisting my spine into knots and clogging up my arteries and the least you could do is give me a second of your time. i think you should give me a chance. you should know that you make my hands itch when you smile because i want to brush my thumb over your cheekbones. that my shoulders are trembling because i can imagine them resting against your chest, the idea of the warmth shotgunning straight to my nerves.

i think you should know you’re making a relatively sane girl misplace her mind.

and i know you’re so much more than you’ll ever imagine, that you are making me tangle w

paper bridges_cdear jamie,  
i’m looking out my window and watching the world come down in icy slivers and it’s making me think of that time when we ran down the road with nothing on but our swimsuits and laughter. we used to share everything. our clothes, our make-up, our books, our stories, our weaknesses, our time. now we just share memories and folded paper. but don’t worry, four years and we’ll be back on the same street and these letters will bridge the gap that distance tried to carve. we’re stronger than that.   

oh, i almost forgot to tell you! this morning i saw a guy that looked just like that ac

i'll come home.dear holly,

the plane is rolling away and i can still see you waving. you are so beautiful, do you know that? your hair is fluttering at the temples and i can see you’re crying, but don’t worry, baby, i’ll be home soon. i know how this looks, the way the door shutting me off is so final, but it’ll open again and you’ll be running down the airport terminal and i’ll be there to catch you.

count the days until i come home, i’ll be counting them with you.

love,
me

+

dear charlie,

i’m home and the house is empty without you. it feels like the walls are exhaling in regret and it’s a bitter feeling

losing myself.it’s the morning and i’m lying on my bed.

i’m listening to the sun raining through my window, the birds chirping, the sound of me losing my feet and finding my dreamer’s bone.

my pillow smells like you, like lust, like finding something worth dreaming about.

in a few minutes i’ll get up, pour myself a cup of coffee, dance in socks around the kitchen, take this new feeling blossoming in my chest and hold it tight.

but for now, i’ll smile, kiss you awake, trace the angles of your chest. but for now, i’ll bask in you.

+

it’s the afternoon and i’m sitting at my desk.

i’m staring at a blank

you've stolen my health.you’ve spent the last few months winding yourself in neat bows around my tongue. so that when you smile i find it snarled and tangled behind my teeth, twisting inexplicitly against the roof of my mouth. i find it hobbled and tripping, the words coming out in odd jerks and stumbling phrases.

i have always been articulate but when your mouth twitches into that crooked grin, i find that you have stolen my tongue and left me mute and wide-eyed in your wake.

+

and you’ve done an excellent job of lodging yourself in the air bubbles of my joints. so that when you touch the small of my back, i find my knees giving out and my arms going l

i'm being all wrong.i am selfish, cowardly and impatient.
but, i hope you know:

i am selfish because i’m scared to let your heart out of my sight. i’m chasing after it with butterfly-tail-rope, running down luckless hills and through glades of greedy fingers all too happy to destroy what i hold most dear. i am trying to lure you into my vault-heart, pouring champagne and tempting you to relax awhile.

so stay with me, love, don’t let tongue and teeth and gilded words pollute your innocence.

and i am cowardly because i’m running a race i can’t win. you’re chasing your death with the zeal of youth and ignorance and you’re ign

look, she's crying over him.five years ago--
we were all elbows and sheltered self-esteems. we weren’t noticing each other except for bumping knees and walking into each other when walking around corners. we were nameless faces in the middle of the dance floor and hesitant hands touching. i was teaching you how to move gawky feet and a stiff spine, you were hitched-laughter fogging over my ear. we were wide eyes and gangly legs and fast music. we were bubble-gum-breath and coca-cola-fingers, breaking apart like nervous colts at the end of the song.

and all the parents said: ‘look, how sweet, she’s his first dance.’

two years ago--
we were all che

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[x]

if i'm not living with you

by =corina90, Sep 18, 2009, 12:16:24 AM
Literature / Prose / Fiction / Philosophy & Perspectives

my eyelashes are tied into knots and my lips are stapled together. i’m laying in the middle of the floor and i’m realizing that my hips are disintegrating from lack of use. my knees are knocking together and melting, my shoulder blades are flying towards one another but never touching. and my throat is simply rusting over from all the sea air i’ve been gulping trying to keep my lungs from suicide jumping.

{i cannot live without you, my body can’t stand the abuse of neglect}

my eyes are turning to salt and dissolving down my cheeks, burning the cracks in my chapped lips, leaving white traces along my jaw. my hair is snarled and tangled into ropes around my neck, a noose made of dreadlocks and wilting flowers. it’s lifting me up and wringing me out to dry, calloused hands curling into themselves so nails are digging into my palm. and i can feel my ribs clicking as they separate, drawing the breath my lips just won’t, tearing at the flesh to try and escape and fly away.

{i cannot live with you; my body can’t stand the abuse of despair}

and my skull is cracking apart to let the blood-drenched butterflies of my thoughts scatter, my collarbone is splintering so my heart can have a clear escape route away from me. because if i am a disease, then you are one too. and my body is the victim to our damage as we recklessly throw fists against my liver and send my spine shattering against my pelvis. i am destroying myself from the inside out, cracking the pavement against my femur and breaking lamps with my sternum. i am ivory and cherry, i am sipping death and champagne from marrow-flutes. and you are pouring me another glass, you are biting my lip and telling me i’ll be gone tomorrow.

{i cannot live; my body can’t stand}

if i'm not living with youby =corina90

Literature / Prose / Fiction / Philosophy & Perspectives

_{{"knock out but boy you better come to
don't die you know the truth is some do
go write your message on the pavement
burnin' so bright i wonder what the wave meant "
--red hot chili peppers

full title: if i'm not living with you, i'm going to settle for dying next to you.

truth: i write in riddles i don't understand.
half-truth: i sort of like this.
lie: i'll know what this means in the morning.}

love 4 4

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~MekaMouse Jun 11, 2010 Student Writer

"and my body is the victim to our damage as we recklessly throw fists against my liver and send my spine shattering against my pelvis." and "i’m laying in the middle of the floor and i’m realizing that my hips are disintegrating from lack of use."

wow. why do I get so sucked into your riddles? XD

~brokenheartsbleeding Nov 3, 2009 General Artist

very true.

=corina90 Nov 3, 2009

thank you
:]

~brokenheartsbleeding Nov 3, 2009 General Artist

you are welcome dear.

i found you through solaces.

~loverz116 Sep 27, 2009

wow. i have no words.

=corina90 Sep 27, 2009

_{you are lovely.}

~loverz116 Sep 28, 2009

thankyou.

~PoochyChan Sep 26, 2009

I envy the raw talent you possess in your writing. Everything about this was morbid and disturbing and utterly horrifying, but you grouped those qualities into a terrible kind of beauty that only real writers can produce. The passion your words possess had me wide-eyes and scatter-brained, to say the least, but I know I had a stupid grin on my face while reading this. Beautiful detailing, and I love your skilled ways. Gorgeous.

=corina90 Sep 26, 2009

_{haha yeah, i can get morbid D:
as always, thank you. a hundred times over.}

~PoochyChan Sep 29, 2009

But I adore morbid people.

You're very welcome.

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