you never did learn that beauty can't be painted on rotting ship hulls. decaying wood will always smell like the ocean's betrayal and the salted funeral salute of gilded words. swirling acrylics will only mask the bleak gray and bled-dry sinkhole of your chest. so, you can sit there and call yourself the queen of your world, the mistress of mystery and empress of lust, but you're taking on water and sinking fast and the imploding sea around you is the last grave your cat-eyes will ever witness. you're sinking like a stone in your hate and deception and the one hand that would have pulled you back is the one you gnawed off at the wrist.
you see, you had the sun in the palm of your greased talons, the whole reason for expanding lungs stitched between your pores and you discarded it like secondhand news. you never did realize: he's the cause of the spinning axel and the foundation of rome and the song the stars sing to dusk-covered fields. oh, you were just too blind to absorb his light! you were too hollow to understand his heat. you called him unbearable, but it's you who was too weak. you called him intolerable, but it's you who was just too flimsy to stand against everything he is.
i hope you know, he was the halley's comet in your life, the supernova you should have clung to until your atoms swirled to dust. you should have rearranged your cells and bent your limbs and appreciated the beauty and color haloed out around him. instead, you forgot that love's a gift and his is platinum and when swathed in undeserving affection, the words "thank you" are more appropriate than "fuck you." you deflected the beauty encoded in his bones and tried to break him instead. it's a shame, you didn't realize steel won't bend to your flimsy lies. you tried to shatter him, but you never did realize his heart was never yours to break.
it was mine, it's always been mine.
from the first breath to the last, every pulsing tide in his oceanic chest has been mine to claim. you tried to breathe formaldehyde in his lungs and inject cyanide into his veins, but at the end of the day, his lungs and his veins weren't yours to corrupt. you twisted your words into a false reality like a noose around his throat, but he slit the rope and hit the ground running. so, when you're curled alone in the bed of lies you made, i hope you think of how he's lying in mine. when you're thinking of the smile you tried to snap, the laugh you tried to dissolve, the love you tried to steal think of this: never again.
you had my sun for a moment and you did everything you could to eclipse it.
but you're nothing but a grain of sand and as you're going up in flames, we're already gone.